


rain poured down

by chemsworth



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce Banner & Thor Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, One Shot, Peter Parker Has a Family, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sad with a Happy Ending, Thor (Marvel) Angst, Thor (Marvel) Feels, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor (Marvel)-centric, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 06:25:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16299815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemsworth/pseuds/chemsworth
Summary: Maybe it was because they had finally defeated Thanos, accomplishing Thor's revenge mission, and Loki was still dead. Maybe it was because everyone else got their friends and family back except him. Thor didn't know; he just knew there was a big aching void in his chest and it kept getting worse and worse and it wouldn't go away no matter how much he distracted himself by hanging with his fellow Avengers.





	rain poured down

It was too much sometimes.

Thor tried his best to distract himself, but lately it hasn't been working as well. Maybe it was because they had finally defeated Thanos, accomplishing Thor's revenge mission, and Loki was still dead. Maybe it was because everyone else got their friends and family back except him. Thor didn't know; he just knew there was a big aching void in his chest and it kept getting worse and worse and it wouldn't go away no matter how much he distracted himself by hanging with his fellow Avengers.

That was how Thor found himself alone, sitting on the floor and staring out of one of the many Stark Tower windows at nothing in particular. His thoughts were raging, but he couldn't do anything to stop them.

Rain poured outside.

"Thor? Are you okay?"

The god looked up from his position on the floor to see Bruce looking at him, concern etched on his face. Thor couldn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded and looked back out the window.

"It's just..." Bruce fidgeted, "you're crying and sitting here alone, so..."

A tear dripped down off Thor's jaw and splattered on his arm, surprising him. Thor was so caught up in the storm in his head that he hadn't even realized he'd been crying.

"Can I sit?" Bruce asked gently.

Thor nodded again, wiping the tears off his face.

Bruce sat down next to Thor and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on his knees. He was close enough that Thor's knee was just barely grazing against the other's leg. 

They both watched, wordlessly, as the rain poured down from the heavens.

Bruce broke the silence, saying quietly, "If you want to talk about anything, I'm here. Even if you don't, I can still be there for you if you need someone to keep you company or something."

Another tear escaped Thor's eye. "Thank you."

Silence. Then,

"You really don't mind? If I talk about all this stuff? It's a lot. And pretty dark," Thor said, picking at a callus on his finger nervously.

Bruce tilted his head so he could look at Thor while his cheek rested on his knee. "Of course not. That's what friends are for, right?"

Thor inhaled shakily and nodded.

"Want to start at the beginning?"

"Loki's dead," Thor whispered. Bruce leaned in closer to hear him better as he continued. "It's not the first time he's been dead, but this time feels... real. I watched him die. I..." Thor cleared his throat before continuing. "I heard his neck snap."

"Thor, oh my god-"

"Thanos ruined his life. Loki wasn't always evil like everyone thinks. He was my brother. He would play tricks and learn magic from our mother and was a pain sometimes, but he wasn't  _evil_. He wasn't some movie villain. He just wanted to prove himself to Odin, and Odin still wasn't pleased, and then Loki let go..."

"Let go?"

"We were on the Bifrost, my father and Loki and I. Loki and I had somehow - I can't exactly remember how - ended up dangling off the edge. Odin was holding onto me, and I was holding onto Loki, and then I think Odin said something that made Loki let go. He was just floating in space I guess until Thanos found him, and then the Battle of New York happened. That wasn't the Loki I knew. That was Thanos' version of him. I took him back to Asgard afterwards, and then... so much happened. My mother died, my brother died again. It was awful.

"Then Ultron and the twins. I saw my people- I saw Heimdall telling me that my people were all dead, that it was my fault. So I tried to keep that future from happening, I tried to defeat Surtur and Hela and prevent Ragnarok and in the end I  _caused_ it. My father died because my brother left him on Earth and took over the throne because I wasn't there to talk sense into him. Hela killed the Warriors Three, my best friends, because I wasn't there to help them, and I have no idea where Lady Sif is. Hela killed a majority of the Asgardians, and then Thanos appeared and slaughtered the ones that couldn't make it onto the escape ship because I wasn't strong enough to protect them. So all in all, my brother has died three times in front of me, my father and mother died, I had to destroy my home planet to kill my evil sister, my friends all died, and my people, the people I vowed to protect at any cost, are almost an extinct race with no home because  _I wasn't enough_. It's all because of me.

"And I can't really be sad, now, can I? We defeated Thanos and brought back the people stuck in the soul stone. Everyone is reunited with their loved ones and I have to be happy for them. What kind of selfish monster complains about losing everything when everyone else is celebrating the fact that they just got back everything?"

"And you've been holding all this in?" Bruce asked quietly, brows furrowed. 

"For the most part, yes," Thor replied, sniffing. He used his shirt sleeve to wipe the tears from his face. "I've only ever told Rocket Raccoon, and I didn't even give him the full story."

"Why do you feel like you can't talk about this kind of stuff?"

"I was raised to be king," Thor shrugged. "Kings aren't supposed to cry or be pessimistic. Kings are supposed to lead and ensure hope."

Bruce thought about that, thought about everything Thor had told him. He had no family left, had no friends left from his pre-Earth era. He had no home and hardly any Asgardians left, and the ones that were still alive still hadn't arrived. And he blamed himself.

Bruce wished he could fix Thor's fucked-up past.

"I'm sorry," Bruce said quietly, watching Thor's profile. The god's face seemed still and calm, but Bruce could see the slight quiver of his lip, the scrunched eyebrows that shadowed his teary eyes. 

Thor sniffed again and blinked back his tears. "It's fine. If anything, I'm sorry you had to listen to all...  _that_. I shouldn't have talked so much about myself."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Everyone needs to let off steam every once in a while."

"Thank you for listening," Thor said quietly.

"Of course, anytime. I just- It's not your fault, Thor. Some of these things that happened... you couldn't do anything to fix them, to stop them. It's  _not your fault_."

Thor nodded and tried to ignore the tears in his eyes and the burning in his throat. The rational side of his brain knew that, but the other side hated himself for not doing more. For not being good enough.

They watched silently as the rain fell.

 

 

Thor was doing better for a while after his vent session with Bruce, and then he crashed. He just woke up miserable one day, and that void was ripped open again and it ached.  _So badly_.

Thor really didn't feel like getting up, but he did, only because he wanted to find Bruce. He stumbled out of his bed, out of his room, and into the hallway. He passed by Bruce's room, peeking in only to see darkness and a bed, the sheets and comforter neatly covering it. He wandered around, the sound of the rain outside being the only thing keeping him from breaking down in the middle of the corridor.

Thor went into the lab, only to see Tony and a young boy, probably the incredibly-smart mentee he constantly talked about. They were chatting happily and working on something, and despite the pleasant atmosphere, it just seemed to make Thor's mood worse.

Thunder accompanied the rain outside.

Tony looked up and offered a grin to Thor. "Hey, Point Break! I got someone I want you to meet."

Thor smiled weakly and approached the two. The younger was watching him with stars in his eyes. "Y-you're Thor!" he managed, his mouth gaping slightly.

"That I am. You must be Stark's son. He's very proud of you, he talks about your accomplishments all the time," Thor smiled, trying to push down and ignore his melancholy mood for at least a couple minutes in order to make the young boy happy. It was the least he could do.

"Really?" It was Tony's turn to receive that starstruck, gaping-mouth look.

"Sure, of course. You're real smart, kid. Just don't let it go to your head," Tony replied, ruffling the hair of the younger. 

Thor stood there, watching their exchange silently and trying to keep his smile from slipping or looking fake. He couldn't have the kid thinking Thor, the God of Thunder, didn't like him. He couldn't let his own mood ruin theirs, even though they looked so happy and carefree and his and Loki's relationships with their father was never as positive as the one in front of him.

"Thor?" Tony said, bringing him back to the present.

"Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. What were you saying?"

"I was wondering why you're in the lab. Need anything fixed?"

"No, everything's fine. I was just trying to find Banner."

"He went to go make coffee," the boy piped up helpfully. 

"Thank you, Starkson," Thor smiled, patting his shoulder. The kid looked like he was about to pass out.

"Parker, actually," Tony corrected. "Peter Parker, Kid Genius that needs to get his homework done." 

"I know a cue to leave when I hear it," Thor said, walking back towards the exit and waving. Peter waved back, calling, "Bye, Mr. Thor sir!"

As soon as he was out of sight, Thor's smile dropped from his face. He liked the kid, really, but he wished he had met him some other day when he wasn't feeling so... sad.

Thor walked to the kitchen, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his sweatpants. He entered just as Bruce was pouring coffee into a cup.

"Morning, Thor," Bruce smiled. "Here for some breakfast?"

Thor walked around and sat down on one of the stools at the island as Bruce sipped on his drink. "Actually, I came here to see you."

"Yeah? What's up?" Bruce asked, setting his cup down.

"I don't know, I just woke up feeling awful. Like, sad-awful. And my chest aches."

"It aches?" 

"Yeah, and I don't know why."

"Want to go sit on the couch and talk?" Bruce asked. Thor nodded.

Bruce led the way to the couch and sat in the corner. He expected Thor to sit on the chair next to it, or on the other end of the couch, but instead, he curled up right next to Bruce.

"It wasn't this bad when I woke up, it didn't hurt this much. But then I went looking for you in the lab and Tony and Peter were in there and they were so happy and it made it worse, somehow. It's just this big gaping hole in my chest, and it hurts. It  _physically hurts_. It feels like there's this huge void in my chest and it's been okay for a while, but today it just ripped back open and I don't know what to do," Thor said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, his hands covering his face. "Am I broken?"

"You're not broken. Maybe it hurts because you feel lonely? Like, Tony and Peter made you realize how lonely you feel so it made that aching worse?" Bruce guessed, rubbing circles onto Thor's back.

Thor nodded. "Yeah. I... yeah. I miss them. So much," he whispered. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to them. I told Loki he was the  _worst_ -"

Bruce pulled Thor to him in a hug, and Thor immediately wrapped his arms around Bruce's waist. Bruce ran his fingers through Thor's hair rhythmically, rocking gently from side to side as Thor cried on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," Bruce murmured quietly into Thor's hair. 

Natasha suddenly appeared in the doorway. She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head in silent question, her eyes asking,  _Is he okay?_

Bruce shook his head to the side once and mouthed,  _Keep everyone out._

She nodded and tapped her watch before leaving.  _I'll be back in an hour_.

 

 

 

Natasha was true to her word and came back an hour later, only to find Bruce and Thor lying asleep on the couch. She smiled to herself and retrieved her softest blanket from her room, making sure to tell everyone she came across to not go to the kitchen area unless they wanted their feet chopped off and stuffed in their mouths. 

(Except for Peter. He was sweet and wonderful and was allowed in if he was quiet.)

She reentered and unfolded the blanket, then draped it over Bruce and Thor. As Natasha was tucking it around their shoulders, Thor opened his eye and smiled sleepily at her, mumbling out a quiet thank you before shifting closer to Bruce with a satisfied sigh. 

His heart felt like it had started healing, filling in the void in his chest. Thor finally -  _finally_ \- didn't feel so alone, so overwhelmingly dismal and depressed.

Natasha snapped a quick picture of them (to send to them later and also because they were just  _so cute_ ), then went to close the curtains. She stood in front of the window for a minute, admiring the colors of the sunset for the first time since they had been back at the Tower.

The rain had finally stopped pouring.

**Author's Note:**

> this was mainly just a vent but i also wrote it because why is no one talking about how much shit thor's been through???? he needs some love pls @ marvel
> 
> anywhore i will love you forever for comments and kudos xoxo


End file.
